Another YOU DONT KNOW ME fact!

I’m pretty sure I’m seen as the angmoh kid that grew up in Singapore.
My styles and speaking ways have been very much incline towards the western side and somehow i always sound serious when I’m using such a tone.

But little do you all know, is that my Mandarin fluency is very much on par with my English language.
And that recently for the past half a year or more, due to the strong influx of listeners and viewers of Korean shows and songs, I’ve succumb to their notion. Therefore, for the past few months I’ve been very much into the Korean entertainment business and got a fair share of celebrities that I liked.
Because of this complicity, I cannot say that I’m very angmoh and in fact, I’m neither here nor there once again…

Before i end this very much confused post with bombardment of heavy words,
Son Dambi, Taegoon, Daesung, Kim Joon Kook, Lee Hyori, Park Ye Jin, Lee Chunhee….

Quite alot actually.. last but not least…
BIG BANG! :D

School skipped but..

I was too drained last night, couldn’t get to sleep due to the overwhelming nervous wreck from skipping previous 2 lessons from this certain module. And fancy me doing so despite the upcoming UT which was today… which really explains why I’m so nervous.

I really think a great start would be the best to start off everything. I’m not used to having to climb up onto something.
So you wont be seeing me in the corporate world trying to climb up the ladder.

But the UT today was fine. I’m hoping to get a B for it. Well, that sums it up.
And my really pretty cousin is having her birthday today too.

Happy Birthday HuiHui!

My other cousin whom i’m closer to, actually had her birthday celebrated not too long ago either.
Belated Happy Birthday here on my wordpress!

Before i leave, epidemiology is a suckass module which is all about statistics and I’m gonna die from it.
4weeks into the lesson and i really do NOT get a single fucking thing!

Starting afresh.

Finally, after hiding in my cocoon for 2weeks and missing school for just as much and as well as not heading out anywhere else within this time frame.

It has been a struggle most definitely with my own thoughts. Going on war with each and everyone of my idea.

I finally get to head out just today. Pretty much forced because it was a meet up with my cousin initially on a plan to visit my grandparents. My grandma’s foot was ran over by a motor vehicle and it happened quite sometime ago, everything is fine now though and my grandma is walking properly without pain on her foot.

After the great dinner cooked up by my grandparents, I manage to meet up this beautiful young lady, Lynn, and I went over to meet her for deserts and went over to her place to get my Tee. This 2 events is nothing related to any of my problems, so much for mentioning them..

But today, marks the day when i feel rejuvenated in my mind as though i wanted to finally start doing things for a change again. I know this might not last and all the thoughts of wanting to do things would take a toll on my weak body and i would revert back the state i was in before…

Thanks for today, it means the world to me…

And to my dearest sister, I wish you a happy happy birthday. May all the ‘wants’ you want appear before you and the all the dreams fulfilled. Lastly, a cheerful and healthy body for all times!

You, are what your friends are.

I remember a much more sophisticated sentence that be its my title.
In anyway, you are what you what your friends are…

So, if you want to start studying, go with the people who do.
If you want to have a life, go with people who has one.
If you want to carve a career out of yourself, mix with one that is doing well at it.
If you want a direction in life, go with those who has one in their mind, they will guide you to what you want.

Influence, its a powerful tool and factor to one’s life. You can basically manipulate anyone with that ability as well.
Its as good as hypnosis.

10days.

Its been 10days since i felt the same way every single day.
This feeling needs to fade before i go amok.

I’m losing important things in my life as long as i continue to act this way.

President Star Charity 1998

During the golden era of Singapore, where everything was blooming and no one was ever complaining.
The era lead by our late President Ong…

I was only primary 2 when the show was aired on channel 5, and it being the first ever President Star Charity.
It totaled up to 2 millions dollar in a single show. The most that was earned.
More charity shows came up after that and it just lacks content and meaning, the donation of course, depreciates.

I remembered myself re-watching this entire show when I was in primary 2 and 3. Whenever I was bored, the tape is just in the drawer and I would see the show till it ends and head off to bed after.
My parents were seldom home until 11pm – 1am, so i always did tried waiting for them before sleeping..
My maid had no control over my sleeping time and my parents didn’t really enforce it on me either, so many a times, i was found sleeping on my green leather sofa and had to be carried up onto my bed.

Remembering back to that period was simply golden, i would take drinks and snacks and put them onto the coffee table as i curled myself up in the middle of the 3seater sofa in my pajamas, i chew and drink myself away while enjoying the show again.. and again.

Anyone else remembers this show?
Or is it that my life as a single child allows for me to do such a thing?
It seems that hardly anyone shares the same childhood as I do…

Still lost.

Must be one of the down-down period whereby i couldn’t pick myself up until something else hits me along the way.

In any case, its time like these when songs which are unique usually appears. Though they may not be directly complimenting your story but their tune should do the trick.. that is, letting you feel alittle closer to your heart aka brain.

I bring to you an old song, which is still currently pretty famous.
Kings of Leon – Use Somebody
Their “Sex is on fire” is pretty good too. Love the vocalist really.

Stress free?

So far, after much of my none merciful post these days.. I still have not come to terms with myself and am still struggling between my choices and ideas and answers.
Which of all would play a huge role of my next few minutes in my life as each decision is made.

So, are you stress free? Or have you as much problem as I do that would probably depict your future on this little island.

Its as though..

I’ve got so much to say, but nothing really comes up to my head.

I’ve probably been told a million times about how lousy I really am, but i was hardly and definitely seldom told on how good I really was either.

Times have been hard for me ever since O’s, its as though I’ve taken a deep plunge down to where I am now, but luckily for me, there happen to be a cushion below that fall and this is where I’ve ended up at and this place is I am currently sitting/sleeping and typing this post at.

I never knew that having a shelter above one head was that hard to do until i finally lost mine. Did tons of research and finally realized the sky-rocketing prices that has impel down on us. Reality struck me then and there -wham-

The people around me, everyone.. must have been thinking about the same thing in their head.
Its like a god’s given command to think this way onto someone like me.. like a judgment or some sort.
To put it simply in words and the infinite ways to say it all, it goes like this..
“you’re never good enough for anything… or not that i know of.”

The latter of the sentence was obviously being kind and the other than that, its simply the truth.

No doubt, I’ve been one depressed person before, and again, I am.
Sometimes it puzzles me, where in the bloody hell did I get my confidence from?
Why was i able to stroll from one place to another feeling good, and talking with so much confidence under my breath.
Where does all these unconfirmed confidence came from?

The difference between sanity and insanity is just of a line difference.
Although they are both different, they had one thing in common.. the guts to do things.
This is probably where my confidence came from…
The sanity ones do things with confidence because they know and knew that they are right and will always be. Even if they were wrong, they couldn’t be that wrong.
The insane ones are those who thinks they know it all, but often happens to be just an empty vase.
There is where I’m standing, and that is where I got my confidence from… i think.

So tell me, how exactly is a guy who is so image conscious and yet so wary about his own idea, to do?

I was once this very anti-social person who got forced to be in a social circle, and now that I’m in it, i get kicked around.
What am I to do?
Change myself to what everyone likes and never knowing who I am exactly?

I love to have an identity, but sometimes.. it doesn’t work out.

Very much, an identity crisis or not…

I’m upset, very. But I don’t know anyone who goes through the same predicament as me who could tell me exactly what to do or how to get by it and allow the next phase of life to come forth and engulf me.

Heaven?

What lies in beliefs is something we all can never see and know.
But what made us believe in them? Our very own perception of how it looks like.
Our thoughts are like..
“skies, because there is no same sky..” -punitha

Just a while ago, i thought about how our actions or what we say usually turns out unexpected or very much coincidental. But how exactly did it happen? Is it the words that we say that carries that very meaning to that possible outcome?

Or is that something out there? Relaying all our messages and allowing it to happen.

If you ask me what that thing is or how it looked like, I’ll say
“Its my heaven, another place which consist of every single human on earth, but on the other side of the world or probably above us. That place, exist no lies. That is my heaven, and to me.. that is how successful communication comes about.”