I’ve got so much to say, but nothing really comes up to my head.
I’ve probably been told a million times about how lousy I really am, but i was hardly and definitely seldom told on how good I really was either.
Times have been hard for me ever since O’s, its as though I’ve taken a deep plunge down to where I am now, but luckily for me, there happen to be a cushion below that fall and this is where I’ve ended up at and this place is I am currently sitting/sleeping and typing this post at.
I never knew that having a shelter above one head was that hard to do until i finally lost mine. Did tons of research and finally realized the sky-rocketing prices that has impel down on us. Reality struck me then and there -wham-
The people around me, everyone.. must have been thinking about the same thing in their head.
Its like a god’s given command to think this way onto someone like me.. like a judgment or some sort.
To put it simply in words and the infinite ways to say it all, it goes like this..
“you’re never good enough for anything… or not that i know of.”
The latter of the sentence was obviously being kind and the other than that, its simply the truth.
No doubt, I’ve been one depressed person before, and again, I am.
Sometimes it puzzles me, where in the bloody hell did I get my confidence from?
Why was i able to stroll from one place to another feeling good, and talking with so much confidence under my breath.
Where does all these unconfirmed confidence came from?
The difference between sanity and insanity is just of a line difference.
Although they are both different, they had one thing in common.. the guts to do things.
This is probably where my confidence came from…
The sanity ones do things with confidence because they know and knew that they are right and will always be. Even if they were wrong, they couldn’t be that wrong.
The insane ones are those who thinks they know it all, but often happens to be just an empty vase.
There is where I’m standing, and that is where I got my confidence from… i think.
So tell me, how exactly is a guy who is so image conscious and yet so wary about his own idea, to do?
I was once this very anti-social person who got forced to be in a social circle, and now that I’m in it, i get kicked around.
What am I to do?
Change myself to what everyone likes and never knowing who I am exactly?
I love to have an identity, but sometimes.. it doesn’t work out.
Very much, an identity crisis or not…
I’m upset, very. But I don’t know anyone who goes through the same predicament as me who could tell me exactly what to do or how to get by it and allow the next phase of life to come forth and engulf me.